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I’ve been making multiple conscious decisions in lyfe in the past 1,5 months.

As a true born Virgo, a natural organizer and planner, of course it was based on many considerations, thinkings, and full-set of strategies on how to deliver them.

The painful one, consciously made in early June – a day to remember.
The pain is still linger to date, but lighter. Still got triggered every now and then, but manageable.

Yesterday, I have also decided to sign buy back guarantee letter and sent it to the Bank for further process.
Sad.

One made earlier today, I have consciously turned-down an opportunity to work outside the Bank, basis the current situation of massive structure changes that are happening and about to happen within a year or so.
Mixed feelings. Full of uncertainty. But I thought rather than having split-mind, it’s better to decide now, so I can focus preparing what will happen.

Another also made earlier today, by consciously decided not responding message from the past. Frankly, I feel bad. But it is the best I can think and do for both of us. Not avoiding, but to simply remove further confusion.
So, sorry not sorry.

Now, surrender.
I can only surrender now.