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Kata-kata ini pernah muncul sekitar tahun lalu gitu deh kayanya, pada saat itu aku ngga terlalu paham apa maknanya, tapi kayanya belakangan ini aku baru mulai paham.

To me – if someone must sought for an external validation, I would say it is a reflection with how uncomfortable he is with himself: his self-values, his beliefs, his thought, his own words and acts – and therefore he is seeking validation from others, which he know for sure are standing on his side, to agree with whatever circumstances he is in, because he has low self esteem.

I wasn’t so sure before on that terms, because I always (tries to be) comfortable with what I said and what I did, not that I am always so sure about them all, but at least I owned it. So seeking external validation is never on my list.

It is as simple as: why should I?

Kenapa pula aku harus nyeret-nyeret orang lain untuk berpartisipasi dan turut serta untuk ikut menghakimi sebuah situasi yang sedang kualami? Segitu ngga punya pendiriannya sehingga harus cari backing-an dan pembelaan dari orang lain? Kenapa harus takut dan khawatir apa yang orang lain akan pikirkan tentang apa yang kulakukan? Segitu ngga yakinnya sama pikiran sendiri? Why? Kalau memang sekiranya itu benar, ya be it.. Why in the first place you were saying or doing something if it is not align with what yours? Why?

I knew someone who was so offended and hurtful after being told by his own people not to seek external validation. I was on his side, so of course I stood by him, tried so hard to lift up the room and (as natural born Virgo) tried to fix them all.

But hard truth is, now I know that he is the one truly seeking for others’ validation – what a shame!